[ Holidays III ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum to all

Dear Diary,

I've had enough travel for these two days and I really am too exhausted. Abi and my sis, Kak Ifa, people who knows each of my travelling details advised me to have a nice rest but I still can't get my back on the bed. There're so many in my mind that I want to share with someone and of course, to think about it once more before I start to forget every thing as I AM a forgetful person, unfortunately.

For the first thing is, this is the first time in my campus life that I had to live in here quite alone. Well, for the first three days shaken me a bit especially when some of my friends and my cousin, the one who stays in Ungku Omar kept teasing me about those things-you-know-what. Gosh, they really giving me a slight impact though. =P

Secondly, I had a very calm and peaceful day, every day without rushing to classes etc. I enjoyed my day at PTSL when there're no annoying voices around. Every one behaving goody goody plus I get my own time to surf for references and also get to sit between the shelves, which is my favourite thing to do in library. Nice. =)

Thirdly, I had a very meaningful adventure. A really meaningful that I don't think I can get any more than this one. Please, let me tell you bit by bit about it, shall we? =)

• When I was on my way to KL Central, I met lots of people with lots of mind set. And I interpret them to myself and took some positive tips to myself such as, not everyone in this world is as lucky as I am. I give my gratefulness fully to Allah for guiding me a life like this when there are many people out there missing most likely enjoyable moments in their life. Alhamdulillah for my life, and for those people out there, may Allah always bless you in every moments you lived.
• When I was at Pak Long Azmar's place, I met my grandparents, Atuk and Nenek, both had been a very long time-never-see person to me(and of course, my other siblings). Both of them were really happy to greet my sis and me. And the most touching scene was when I saw tears in Atuk's eyes. He must be really missing us, especially his daughter(Umi) because if I'm not mistaken, it's been years since they last meet up each other. My face looks just like Umi, and I think that gives him more reason to miss his daughter so much.

• For the whole day, when other people came and took their places, did their parts in helping Pak Long and Mak Long in the preparation, Atuk can't stop introducing me to my not-so-familiar family members. They asked me about myself but Atuk was the one who's answering them for me. He's so excited to tell those people i'm studying Dakwah in UKM, etc. Oh God. He seems to be very happy and glad that I took this course. I was stunned at that moments. I can't even take a look at Atuk's eyes. I felt so guilty for what I did all this time, trying to refuse the fact that I'm in this field, keep telling myself how regret I am about this fate. O Allah, forgive me for what I've done....

• That night, after everyone's gone, and leaving only our nearest family members, chatting outside the house, I joined my grandparents and sat beside them. The first thing Atuk asked was how's my Arabic. Oh my God. All I could say was, "Emmmm...." Oh dear.... Knowing what I felt at that time, Nenek said to me, "Biar susah macam mana pun, biar banyak halangan dan cabaran macam mana pun, jangan mudah mengaku kalah. Sebab tu, orang dulu cakap seluk pekasam biar sampai ke pangkal lengan. Harung je semua tu, jangan ikutkan rasa lemah dalam hati tu." Oh God.... If Abi was there, I think I won't be able to hold my tears. How I felt so sorry for them and for myself. They put high enough hope to see me become someone expert in Islam, but what did I do to make it become real...? I can't, because I know my limits but I don't have guts to say those words to them, seeing the heart tears apart. Oh God.....

On my way back to UKM, I counter a very tiring adventure. Firstly before I forgot, there're still people who did not being a sensible person. On my way from Wangsa Maju to KL Central, there're a group of oldies foreigner, get into the LRT from Pasar Seni if I'm not mistaken. The thing is, those youngsters didn't offer them their seats. How rude they are. When I said oldies, I mean they ARE oldies, really old that the guy(maybe the grandfather) had white hair and can't even stand straight that his wife, I think had to hug him to prevent him from falling down when the LRT's moving. Gosh. After we passed through two stations, a mother(a bit younger than them) offered her seat to that old man, and only ONE of the youngsters, offer her seat to the wife. And the rest of the group, maintain standing till the got out at KLCC station. Hmm...

Okay, back to my journey, I bought the ticket and not for long, lost it after I bought my lunch. Then, refuse to take any more of my time searching for it, I bought a new one. And when I got to the platform, I missed the commuter, which is I won't be at that situation if I didn't lost my ticket. But then, when I got into the second commuter, I had to stand in front of a mysterious looking guy, wearing a pair of glasses like the terminator. Creepy guy with hood.

And then, something worse happened. All of us, the passenger had to clear up the commuter as that thing need to go and 'fetch' another commuter, which was stranded at the next station. So, all of us need to wait for other commuter. Argh.... Standing outside, with that kind of weather, and heavy luggage, each of us showed 1001 faces to each other. Some of us talking non-stop, some kept listening to their mp3, and most of us just stare at the empty railway. And the one I hated most was that guy, SMOKING at the public, just a few metres behind me. GOD! What was he thinking! Luckily it's not the day when I can come out as a Hulk or something. If not, I think I'll just slash him with my blade (which I brought along, thinking I'll got the chance to go back to Penang) thousands time till the smell of his smoke disappear from my head. Gosh. I HATE SMOKERS who can't choose the right time to smoke.

Geez. Whatever. Forget about that guy. The journey continues when all of us had to stand for about an hour to wait for another one commuter. This one, when it arrived, was already packed with passengers but all of us didn't care bcause we can't aford to wait any longer at that place. It's too hot and tiring.

At first, I hate the condition but then, after a few stopping, I managed to save myself to a 'safe' zone. I met this family, all of the members are teenagers. They were a father, a big brother, and three sweet sisters. I didn't have the mood to talk to any of them(my usual mood whenever I walk alone actually) but not long after we were 'together', the big brother, asked me something. Well, I guess he's been looking at the blade for quit a long time, like other people but his interest give him guts to ask. No doubt at all when people ask you about what is that you were holding? when you are the only one holding something like that, rite? LOL

But he did know something about my blade. He asked me what was that, but before I could answer, of course taking some time, stunned when a stranger talked to you, he answered it himself, "It's a blade for fencing, right?" Well, that's what a really shocking to me. Anyone else, can't tell themselves the actual sport's name, and still in their blurry mind if I said, "It's fencing." But not him. He did know something about fencing, for sure. I just smiled, and said, "Ahah, it's fencing's blade."

Well, we talked a bit, watched by his father(who looked interested enough to listen to me, talking a bit about fencing) and her sisters, looking a bit amazed and can't take their eyes of the blade, God-knows-why. He seems to be finished in his study, I guess when I heard he said, "Interesting, UKM having fencing as co-curricular activities," and his eldest sister said to him, "Why don't you further your study, in Master at UKM? At least you could have some time to try and learn more about it." But, well, he gave an answer I expected from a guy, "No, thanks. I'm done with studies etc." Well, all I could say, he's a guy. =)

Then, it's time to be apart. Without saying anything to them, I just got out of the commuter when we arrived at UKM station. I'm not trying to be rude  but I need to be faster and go through a jungle of guys in front of the exit before I'm save outside.

Well, there you are. I've told my not-so-detailed journey for this holiday. Alhamdulillah, there's nothing worst happened and thanks to Allah who always at my side, protecting me and my sis from any harm.

Until we meet again, adios. =)

Missing Penang,
Cleo
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