[ Bingkisan risalah... atau nota cinta?]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum my dear

First of all, just a credit to my dear friend yang post tentang happiness. [here it is] It really made me think deeper.

Okay. Sebenarnya Cleo nak mula kerja-kerja tesis ni. Tapi sebelum tu, as usual. I need to let go unnecessary things yang terlalu mengganggu. Terasa nak share something yang Cleo dapat baru tadi, so here it is, sebelum mula bercerita.

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Terbaca Cleo satu buku written by Imam Hassan Al-Banna yang terselit dalam buku-buku simpanan abi. Of course, buku ni terjemahan dia. Tiga Bingkisan Risalah Da'wah. A part of it:

Kasih sayang
Demikian juga kita mengharapkan agar bangsa kita mengetahui bahawa kita mengasihi mereka lebih dari diri kita sendiri, kita mengharapkan mereka mengetahui bahawa jiwa-jiwa ini sanggup menjadi tebusan demi kepentingan mereka andainya ketinggian itu meminta tebusan. Jiwa-jiwa ini sanggup dicabut sebagai harga kepada keagungan mereka, kemuliaan mereka, agama dan cita-cita mereka andainya perkara-perkara ini memerlukan demikian. kita mengambil sikap yang demikian terhadap mereka hanyalah kerana kasih sayang telah membelenggu hati dan merajai perasaan kita, membuatkan kita tidak nyenyak tidur dan mengalirkan air mata. Amat sukar dan luar dari kesanggupan kita melihat sesuatu menimpa bangsa kita dan kita terus menyerah diri kepada kehinaan atau merelainya, atau kita terus berputus asa. Kami (Ikhwan) bekerja untuk manusia kerana Allah lebih dari kami bekerja untuk diri kami, kami untuk kamu, bukan untuk orang lain dan kami tidak akan menjadi beban kepada kamu.

This part, reminds me of who I was. Or maybe still am. Bezanya, banyak. Only He knows. Semestinya, Imam Hassan al-Banna melalui lebih banyak dugaan berbanding Cleo. And he managed to stay that way till the end. Cleo? Well, most of it shred me to pieces. And I took too much time to stand up in a piece. Lemahnya Cleo.

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So.. this is a story, of a trusting heart..

It happened, like a thousand times yet I still can't learn how to confront it. Sakit terasa, bila kita mengharapkan orang faham kata-kata kita. Especially bila dah berjanji, things will stay just between us. I'm not sure why, but this time, it really hurts. Need I to remind you, no matter how brave I am, how bold I am, how upfront I am, I'm still a woman. A lady, yang masih ada rasa malu untuk orang ketahui perkara-perkara peribadi. And yes, I am a bit mysterious and I don't like people knowing about things I don't want them to know.

Tak tahu lah Cleo. Mungkin dia anggap satu kebanggaan bagi dia atas apa yang dia tahu. *sigh* What have I ever done to you? What grudge do you have for me? You and me, we know what we said before. How can you break the promise you made? How long..? How long have they knew about this? Ya Salaam, ya Mu'allimun. How can I be such a fool to trust you in this.

My dear, dear darling. Kalau betul, awak berbangga dengan apa yang awak tahu. Why don't you just let me know. I'll make it easier for you. It's not so hard to get publicity in this kind of world, you know. I gave, much more than they asked, before. Those so called friends? They got what they want, even more. And I never did take it back from them. If.. if you really are one of those "friends", come clean. I can't kill you, for God sake. Your death, is not worth it. I'll cooperate and make sure you get what you want, to satisfy yourself. Vengeance? That's the way I did, by giving you the publicity, if that's what you're aiming for, my dear. Let's not to forget my motto: when I get serious, I'll do my best for the goal.

And never to worry, YOUR SECRET IS SAFE with me. And will be forgotten in a matter of time. What goes around comes around, my dear. What goes around.. will never fails to come around..

Bukan mudah tuk katakan benci

Bukan mainan tuk katakan sayang

Bukan sewenangnya tuk bermadah

Bukan seadanya tuk percaya

Cleo

~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~