[ Dear... ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum to you, dear diary...

Not today, I can't. I tried to but it won't do. I don't know why and now I'm not sure when's the right time to do so. I need it, really, and for real this time. I need my time, to cry, to be alone, to think of everything that had happened to me all this long suffocating time.

Dear diary, 

I don't know what had happened to my life, that changes every single parts in my life. I can't even have the slightest time to get up carefully this time. Each time I'm almost done, and almost have some time to breath in, I was pushed back into the pit. I can't reach my hand out to hold on to something, and I can't even voice out for help even to the closest person beside me.

Dear diary,

The cut's too deep, and I can't... I can't....I just can't get rid of the wounds it gave to me What shall I do now? Right now, I just feel that I have no desire any more to talk, to open my mouth, to use my hands, and share anything with anyone. I'm afraid I'll be someone who didn't know how to be grateful for her life, I'm afraid I'll be going too far away from the path, just because of my words. And of course, it's the worst and I don't want it to be that way.

Dear diary,

Please, listen to me. There're a lot in here, and I need you to hear it one by one. What happened to me? Can you tell me? Can you answer me? Can you protect me from being hurt once more? Protect me from all those outsiders? Can you?

Dear diary,

I don't know. Right now, all I need is time for me to be on my own. To think of my own, and to be gone for myself.

I can't type anymore....too tired....I need to rest now...tomorrow's a busy day....no classes. all of hmm...i can't see the screen now...just type accordingly to my sense..=_=




Speechles,
Cleo
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