Wednesday, March 9, 2011

[ So Deep Down ]

With Allah's love
Assalamu'alykum to my dear


Dear, today, I just... feeling so down. Yesterday, the program that I'm in charge starts and today, is the second day. I... I don't know how to say. For me, well, all of us tried our best to plan for everything go smoothly. But then, person who's not in charge always interfere and make things went upside down. Ya Allah...

They made things became so difficult and gave pressure to my subordinates. Well, of course, AJK sy berhati lembut, dan sy tahu itu. Kesian diorang, tak pasal kena tempik, kena hamun ngan orang tu. Haaiiizzz.. Diorg ni dah la tak reti nak keringkan hati. Hmm.. Ntah-ntah dah menangis dah kat bilik sekarang nih. Hmm....

Talk about crying, petang tadi, referee jemputan kami lari balik lepas satu game. AJK sy cuba tahan, at least to say thanks, tapi dia pun tak sempat-sempat nak balik sangat. Ya Allah. Katanya dia terasa sangat ngan players tadi. Adoyai... -.-

Hmm... Sekarang, dah tak de yang sanggup nak jadi referee. Allah. Hmm...

Ingatkan, makcik-makcik tahu berbudai bahasa. Ye lah, tau lah tengah bengang ke, apa ke, at least masa awal-awal nak bercakap tu, jangan la gi serang terus. Cuba cakap elok-elok dulu. Kalau dah memang orang tu tak makan saman, tak kesah lah nak tinggi ke langit suara tu pun. Ni, dah lah awak tu yang buat masalah, marah pulak orang sy. Kalau sy yg kena marah ngan awk, sy tak kesah, sgt tak kesah sb sy tahu apa nak balas balik kat awak. Tapi jangan pada subordinates sy sebab diorang tak leh nak buat apa-apa keputusan, nak balas balik, diorang memang tak berani. *Mungkin sebab sy ni pun kurang ajar kot, tu yg berani je tu.* Teeettt...!! Ye lah, dah memang ternyata kita tahu apa yang patut dijawab kat orang cenggini, bagi je lah terus. Kalau tak, haaiiizz... Lingkup la program. Kang tak pasal-pasal programmer tukar orang pulak. Pergh...

Hmm... Adoi... Terasa sangat down sebab rasa amat guilty kat ramai orang hari ni.

1. Feelin so guilty towards my subordinates yg lebih banyak teruji, sebab diorang yg kena serang ngan dak2 tuh. *Pelik gak napa tak datang cari kita..hmm...*

2. Feelin so guilty kat Afiq ngan Pie yang penat ke hulu ke hilir teman settle kan sal medal untuk program ni.

3. Feelin so guilty kat kawan-kawan Dakwah yg tak dapat jugak balik awal lepas game utk study, prepare mid-sem maharat tadi. Actually diorang dah request, nak start diorang awal. Patut main pukul 5, diorang request nak main pukul 3. Kitorang dah setting semua, and semua team berdaftar dah setuju. So, on je la pukul 3 dengan expectation habis pukul 5. Tapi ... disebabkan interference tu, diorang tetap balik lewat jugak. 6 lebih tadi baru game habis. Ya Allah... sangat-sangat rasa bersalah kat diorang. Hmm...

4. Yg ni yg paling utama. Feelin so so so totally guilty kat my friend, Wani. Wani dear, I am so sorry. Wani tak dapat jawab exam tadi. Dan dia sangat down sampai tak nak cakap ngan sy tadi. Wani, dear, I'm so sorry dear...
Wani tak sempat nak study hari tu, sebab dia ada program kat luar. So, I've got my chance to study but, even though I tried everything I could to help her but.. hmm... maybe it's all starts from me.. hmm...

Hmmm.... feelin so down but I can't give up like this, right now. No. I have to go on. No one can stop me at this time. If you want to say something, come and talk to me. I'll never back down cuz you'll never get to be higher than me in this.

P/s: Tadi ada sorang makcik tu, memang dah dislike makcik tu dari perkampungan silat tu lagi dah. Dia ada dalam team yg suka buat pasal tu. Hmm... Penambah perisa. Lagi menyampah nak tengok team tu. Tadi, memang totally ignore team tu. Bercakap ngan diorang masa nak bagi tahu sekarang turn korang main, tu je. Sebab terlalu menyampah kan, takut2 kalau jadi referee utk diorang nanti jadi bias pulak. Susah2.



Fallin down
Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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