Friday, December 21, 2012

[ If Only the Truth Being Told ]

With Allah's love
Assalamualykum my dear

I have to say this, I just have to. I wish I could say the truth but when the time comes, I'm speechless. Like a fool. Nothing came out of my lips. I wish I could say: Please, we are and always be no more than acquaintance. This is hard for me. It's hard enough for me to accept strangers into my life, plus to be accepted as family? When each of us can't confront each other and talk, about real life, real deal. Face to face. This shows to me there's no trust at all between us. And how do you expect me to accept you as my family when there's no trust between us?

Look, we're not fools, I'm not a fool. I know you've been talking behind me, and that's the biggest mistake you've done, my dear. For me. I hate that attitude, for real. How do you expect me to know what I did wrong when you didn't even bother to talk about it? What? You think I'm some kind of white wizard or the elf? I'm sorry for what I did, and I'm sorry if every single thing I did was wrong, and wrong, and wrong, and stupid enough for you. Tell me, if it is, just tell me right away so I won't be repeating it again and again and again.

I hate doing mistakes, but how can I help myself when I didn't know what's right and what's wrong? Please, stop the discrimination. I told you, I take serious of my work, and I'm sorry, I don't joke around when I'm working but it doesn't mean that I hate working with you guys. If you wanna joke around, so be it but there'll be no jokes coming out from my lips while I'm working. That's all. No feelings attached.


I hate leaving with so many questions in my head but then I feel like I have no rights to question you. Nothing more than worried you'll say I'm rebelling when asking too many questions but indeed, I need to know everything, I have to so that I can leave the past without affecting the future, though I doubt we'll see each other again after this.

Whatever it is, to say I'm sorry for every single thing I did wasn't enough for me for not knowing the real reason saying those words. It's kinda saying the words just for formality before leaving.


Or should I be the first to ask?

Searching the way
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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