Thursday, January 21, 2010

[ I'm Back ]

With Allah's love
Assalamu'alykum to all


I  am so sorry I couldn't make it to update this blog since the last post. I do have some time to online, but still not having enough time to type in a post.

I was too busy handling three or four (can't remember anymore) programmes in one time and now, some of them are still in the process. But I want to steal some time to update my lovely blog for these hectic weeks.

There're so many stories I want to share but I don't have much time to type in. So, I think I'll just make a brief for each of it in this diary.

Last week, I entered a tournament, while also being the secretariat under protocol. Although I didn't do much, but it's a relief that the tournament going well under the control of my seniors. They're such a great team. Grats to them. =)

And, last two weeks, I registered my name for SUKMA 2010, in Fencing as Negeri Sembilan's representative. This one, I need to be really serious either to continue or write a letter to back off in this week. I know, I can go on for the training every weekends but I'm not sure I can do well for the footwork at all. The coach's aiming for gold, so do I. But I'm afraid I'll just break our hearts to pieces on the historical day. Oh please....

And last week, I've been confirmed by the MT as the new selected EXCO in my fac. Oh God....
This is really too far. I don't know whether I can make it or not. I'm not the best among the best or even the best among normal students. I'm just no one to be compared to the others. Oh God. With my attitude, I believe its gonna be a fitnah to the council and even to my faculty. (Which I hope not.)

Ya Allah, do help me in this heavy responsibility you've put on me. I kept no faith for myself to do this right on my own, without Your help, o Allah. People might asking questions, but I hope they won't be too occupied to search for the untold answers. Do help me, my Lord for You are the only One who knows what's the best in me and for me. Amin.


And last but not least, I hope this isn't the long lasting sin I'll do for this semester. O Allah, do save me from continuing to be in this dilemma. After all those weeks, I've got something special enough for me to keep for myself. And I hope it won't be a sin because as a human being, I know it's a normal thing.

But still, saying that it's normal can't give a relief to me to continue being in 'this' situation. I used to listen to Maher Zain's song in Niza's blog day by day for the lyrics and music combined beautifully enough to make me  feel okay after listening to it. But, I don't know why, since past two days, I listened to the song, a vision came across and my heart beat faster than normal.

Huh. All this time I tried to put it aside but these two days, this 'thing' really got my attention. But now, its okay. Since I've put this story in here, it means I've decided to put this aside.

Cleo, there will be no more time for you to think about this, okay? Focus, my dear. Focus.
Put this thing aside, and please, continue to live your life as usual. He's not thinking about you even for one second, and so do you. Cleo dear, you need to know, this isn't the place and time for this. You shall not make your life become miserable because of a guy. It's not worth it when you have to look at your dream life leaving you behind for someone you didn't even know so much.

Keep repeating the same phrase you had always said to yourself,
"This is just a phase. This is just a phase. This is just a phase."
Keep holding to your pride, keep reminding your prejudice,
Keep yourself as a whole, and do sway your life gracefully...


By the way, actually I want to share about two posts I read today, I mean, just now. These posts are quite useful to me and I do hope it's the same to all of you. Have fun reading and don't forget to take what it gives before you lose it... See ya. Assalamu'alykum...







With Love,
Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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