[ Before Get Going ]

With Allah's love

Assalamualykum to all

Well, before I disappear again, I would like to share an entry, actually an e-mail I got from my friend, Mr Asaktor (thanx kay)..

Lately, I've been receiving lots of entry and mails similar to this one. Each of them talking about how precious a wife is, or a mother etc. So, I guess, like I usually do, here it goes. Have fun y'all..!! Adios! =)

* * *

Hargailah isteri anda....... 

Mulianya seorang isteri disisi Allah... 

Dan betapa berharganya wanita yang bergelar isteri ini pada keluarga, suami dan anak2 

Rugi dan binasalah suami-suami yang tidak menghargai isteri mereka kerana isteri inilah yang akan membantu mereka di akhirat kelak.Biarlah buruk mana isteri anda, sayangilah mereka...... 

Beruntungnya seorang wanita yang ada rahim ini ialah dia bekerja dengan Tuhan... jadi 'kilang ' manusia. Tiap-tiap bulan dia diberi cuti bergaji penuh.... 7 sehingga 15 hari sebulan dia tak wajib sembahyang tetapi Allah anggap diwaktu itu sembahyang terbaik darinya. 

Cuti bersalin juga sehingga 60 hari ,  

Bila dah bersalin tu, susukanlah anak...jgn takut "kendur" atau menggelebeh pulak...   

Si suami pulak, jgn la berebut dengan anak untuk menyusu pulak...... Cuti ini bukan cuti suka hati tapi cuti yang Allah beri sebab dia bekerja dengan Allah ,   Tapi bila dah habis cuti tu.. . layanlah suami..."offer" lah pada suami ,   Nabi bersabda: berjimak dgn isteri itu pahala...jangan buat deekkk jeee,   Jangan buat alasan itu dan ini pulak....ingat tu si isteri yee!!!  Kata nak pahala lebih...   

Orang lelaki tak ada cuti dari sembahyang..... sembahyang wajib baginya dari baligh sehingga habis nyawanya... 

Satu lagi berita gembira untuk wanita, Sepanjang dia mengandung Allah sentiasa mengampunkan dosanya, Lahir saja bayi seluruh dosanya habis. Inilah nikmat Tuhan beri kepada wanita, jadi kenapa perlu takut nak beranak? 

Marilah kita pegang kepada tali Allah. Seandainya wanita itu mati sewaktu bersalin, itu dianggap mati syahid, Allah izinkan terus masuk Syurga. Untuk orang bukan Islam,  dia tak dapat masuk Syurga tapi Allah beri kelonggaran seksa kubur.   Untuk peringatan semua wanita yang bersuami seluruh kebaikan suaminya, semuanya isteri dapat pahala tetapi dosa-dosa suami dia tak tanggung. 

Di akhirat nanti seorang wanita solehah akan terperanjat dengan pahala extra yang banyak dia terima di atas segala kebaikan suaminya yang tak disedari. Contohnya bila dia redha suaminya pergi berjemaah di masjid atau ke majlis ilmu, bersedekah.. ganjaran Alah ke atasnya jua. . 

Bila dia lihat suaminya tengah terhegeh-hegeh di titian Sirat dia tak nak masuk syurga tanpa suaminya, jadi dia pun memberi pahalanya kepada suami untuk lepas masuk syurga. Di dunia lagi, kalau suami dalam kesusahan isteri boleh bantu tambah lagi di akhirat.

Kalau seorang isteri asyik merungut, mulut selalu muncung terhadap suami dia tak akan dapat pahala extra ini. 

Manakala suami pula mempunyai tugas-tugas berat di dalam dan di luar rumah, segala dosa-dosa anak isteri yang tak dididik dia akan tanggung ditambah lagi dengan dosa-dosa yang lain.. Dinasihatkan kepada semua wanita supaya faham akan syariat Allah agar tidak derhaka denganNya. 

Sesungguhnya wanita dijadikan daripada rusuk kiri lelaki. Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki,juga bukan dari tapak kaki. Dia dicipta dari sebelah rusuk kiri lelaki supaya dia hampir 

kepada kamu(lelaki) ,lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan wanita,dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi. 

Woman was made from the rib of man, She was not created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him. 

"Wahai Tuhan... ku tak layak ke syurgamu ... namun tak pula aku sanggup ke nerakamu... 

kamilah hamba yang mengharap belas darimu .... 

"Ya Allah..... jadikanlah kami hamba-hamba mu yang bertaqwa .. ampunkan dosa-dosa kami, kedua  ibubapa kami, dosa semua umat-umat islam yang masih hidup mahupun yang telah meninggal dunia"...... 

Kubur itu gelap, cahayanya ialah Laa Ilaaha IllalLah.. Jika diletakkan langit dan bumi di sebelah dacing, dan kalimah ini di sebelah yang satu lagi, pasti lebih berat lagi nilai kalimah 'Laa ilaaha illalLah' ini. Rasulullah saw. bersabda (mafhumnya): "Wahai manusia! Ucaplah  'Laa ilaaha illalLah', kamu pasti berjaya!" 

Marilah kita ucapkan kalimah ini:  "Laa ilaaha illallah!" x 10 

Never forget to share,

Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~

[ Celaru, Keliru dan Haru biru ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum to my dear...

Hmm.... After the last entry, I've got so lil time to sit back and think about all the thing happening around me. I'd just got up from sleep and can't go back to sleep, don't know why. My room mate is still in her deep sleep. Yukkuri yasumi neh, su-chan. =)

My life become a bit different, after I received an sms from my friend. An sms telling me about our former friend's condition. It's shocking enough to know that he's in the ICU. And the next thing I know the next morning is that, he's gone, forever. Even though we didn't communicate much with each other, but still... I feel like... I don't know how to describe it. it's lie feeling so empty, yet so burdened. I didn't even have the chance to attend his funeral. It's so sad, you know. Reading the comments, status, and entries tribute to him, Sharfuddin, from our friends, really making me crying. No one expect that he's the first one to go before us. Sharfuddin, may Allah bless you over there, may Allah take care of you over there.

http://dzulagil.blogspot.com/2010/07/jumaat-16-julai-2010-seperti-kelaziman.html

Allah loves you more, and wanna take you near to him, to make sure there will be no more hurting for you. Have a nice rest, my dear friend....al-fatihah.... ---<@

* * *

Well, lots of unpredictable things happening around and we can't simply handle it perfectly. We can just try and keep on trying to make it be the best in our life. With the M3P around, I'm so exhausted and a lil down when I can't contribute my best effort to each task I was assigned to. Nothing going on perfectly and people kept feeling hurt or even angry with my cooperation. Everything I do seems like nothing to them. I am so sorry that I can't help you guys to make things perfectly perfect. I was so stupid and I can't even think of anything better to contribute. I'm sorry.

Maybe this is how you feel when someone you know had just leave you behind and at the same time, you didn't have the time to take a break to think and accept things around. It's hard. It is really hard. Not long before this one, my grandparent had passed away too and I didn't have the chance to go to his funeral too. OMG. Now I know how my mother felt all this time...hmm....

* * *

To my lil bro (who called me his lil sis), I will always by your side, dear. Please be strong, please... Do stop joining them in sports at this rate, my dear. Enough with what they did to your leg, enough with what they did to your belongings. I don't want them to hurt you anymore, dear. We can't expect how far they would go to make sure you can't be who you are, because they just can't simply accept it. With today's atmosphere, you need to be more careful and alert. Bro, do leave them as far as you can. I know you pretty sure who am I talking about, don't you bro?

They're just some stupid school boys, oriented by stupid guys, doing stupid things and you just can't simply walk into their stupid game. You are a brilliant guy, you are a smart thinker. Naim, you are one of the best person I'd ever know. People are not perfect but you're someone who can differentiate good and bad, not like them.

Bro, I don't wanna see you getting hurt anymore. Coming back from school with "broken" leg. Not a single scratch on your body, your heart, and your future anymore. I know you love sports so much, I know, and I understand how it feels like when you can't go out and have some fun on the field. But please, my dear. That's the only place where they can hit you and make it looks like an accident. Wake up, bro! They can't except it, when you won over the champion. They can't bear it when you could go further in everything you participate, more than them. Bro, it's not the time to be mister nice guy right now. You need to be smart and save your future. It's not a coward, it's called a wise. Think about it, bro.

O Allah, please take good care of my bro for me, for my parents. There's nothing we can do without Your help...

Having a spinning life
Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~

[ Unpredictable is Me ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum my dear

How are you today? Me? Just tell me about it. Unpredictable, is what I'm made of. Unpredictable is my life. I don't know. You tell me, is it right or wrong. Truly, when they ask if I'm okay or not, only one thing I can say, "Yep, just fine." =)

But actually, it's hurting me day by day. I can never forget what he said that day. To that guy: Awak, sy sedar la sy tak sehebat kawan-kawan kite yg laen. Sy sedar la sy selalu je buat benda lain dari yg lain. Dan mungkin ape yg sy buat tu tak patut dibuat bg sy. Tapi awak sama kan sy ngan dia?? Ape motif awak..? Sy amat sgt terasa yg mendalam kalo ape yg sy fikirkan ni betul. Kalo betul, kenape perlu awk nafikan hari tu..?

That is one thing. And lately, hmm... Lots of things came out ironically. Ergh.... I don't know how to tell you, my dear.

I have to leave behind Totoro, my most beloved kitty and three other new born kittens.

Lots of people start to call me 'sis' or even worst a 3rd year student. -.-"

Cleo ngan Wani terpisah starting from today sampai habis degree.

My partner in PMF back out. I need to do the work alone now.

I need to take his place and meet the dean in this week. You know how much I hate to communicate with people, rite? Please........

I don't know what to say in tomorrow's meeting. These people DID NOT CARE at all! They even gave me the wrong contact number!

I don't know what to do when it's time for me to go to JPPel and PPP. Geez! Where's everbody when it's their fault...!!!

I can't register my name for my major subject! The heck!

I can't even complete any of my task perfectly.

I don't know. I'm not trying to say that I'm angry with my fate but I'm just trying to list down these sticky, disturbing things. Urghhhh....!!!!

S   E   R   A   B   O   T    !    !    !

tOiN ToIn

Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~

[ Tapi Tak Pe . . . ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum to my dear

Dear, nak tau tak? Nak citer ni. Tentang seseorang.... Dengar la ek?

* * *

Hari tu kan, berkobar-kobar mereka kate nak kekalkan persatuan ni. Dan berkobar-kobar la jugak semangat mereka yang mendengar ni. Bila sebut banyak aktiviti nak buat, sy nampak muka awak happy sangat. Pastu kan, awak semangat nak buat keje, awak nak pegang jawatan ngan tekad lam hati, 'Saya nak aktifkan balik persatuan ni macam dulu.' Dan bile awak dapat post yg awak nak, sy nampak awak tersenyum lebar.

Tapi kan, bile dah sampai mase utk awak berbakti, menjalankan tanggungjawab, awak hilang. Contact tak dapat, sms tak reply, hatta mintak awak tolong amek and hantar gambar awak kat pusan pun awak liat. Ya Allah, bantulah diri yg lemah ini.

Tapi tak pe. Sy redha, sebab sy dah jalankan tanggungjawab sy peringatkan awak tentang tanggungjawab awak tu. Mula-mula tu, sy ngaku, sy terasa amat sgt geram, sakit hati etc. Nak nanges pun ada, awak tau. Tapi bile sy fikir balik, sy salah. Tak boleh mcm ni. Sy kena ikhlas kan diri buat kerja-kerja ni, sebab ni tanggungjawab sy. Sy dah buat apa yg sy mampu, dan sekarang sy kene tawakal pada Allah je. Moga-moga awak dapat muncul dan bantu sy. Tapi ...

Tapi tak pe, lepas ni, kalau terpaksa, sy akan tanggung semuanya depan kaunter tu. Serious, puan tu tak garang langsung masa sy jumpa dia hari tu. Dia sgt baik, siap bg tempoh extra utk persatuan kita. Puan tu pun tanak bagi masalah and keluarkan amaran. Dia tanak tengok persatuan mahasiswa kite terbubar sebab perkara yg tak sepatutnya ni. Sy amat bersyukur mase tu, awk tau. Sebab tu sy rasa nak nanges. Awak, sy mohon, tolong la sy eh?

Tapi tak pe, bagi awak. Semuanya tak pe, sebab awak bukan yg bertanggungjawab dalam hal-hal ni. Salah sy sebab tak inform awak lebih awal dari mase sy hantar sms kat awak hari tu. Salah sy sebab ganggu awak mase exam hari tu. Salah sy sebab tak sms awak hari-hari, korbankan duit beli top up utk ingatkan awak pasal hal-hal tu. Sekarang awak dah ada alasan utk lepaskan diri awak. Jadi, awak tak perlu ambil berat hal-hal ni. Bagi awak, tak perlu respon pun tak ape. Sebab sy tau semua tentang awak, kan? =)

Tapi tak pe, ape-ape pun, sy dah tak marah kat awak lagi. Sy pun tak tau kenape, bile nampak awak, sy tak jadi nak marah. Sy senyum je, layan awak macam biase. Langsung tak teringat ape yg awak dah buat. Tak pe, sebab sy cube jadi profesional. Tak pe, awak tak perlu risau kalau terjumpe sy ye? =)

* * *

Hari tu kan, hari pertama sy kenal awak. Lucu, sebab mase tu sy dah betul-betul fed up ngan dunia ni. Sy dah penat dgn kebiasaan bile pegi je mane-mane, bende pertama yg kite nanti buat, cari kawan. Sy dah fed up sebab selalu je kawan yg sy jumpa tu cube ubah sy jd macam die. Tapi awak tak. Awak baik, sangat baik kat sy. Di mase sy berdiam diri, tak cube langsung bergaul ngan orang, awak datang. Awak kawan jugak ngan saye. Jadi sy letak tepi fed up sy, dan terus kan utk jadi kawan awak. Seronok kan?

Bile ade mase free je, kite kumpul pastu sembang-sembang. Citer sal awak, sy, ape yg jadi kat kite hari ni etc. Kalau ade problem je, sy cari awak, awak cari sy. Bile sy sms awak, awak pun sms sy balik. Kalau tak de kredit, masing-masing cube macam-macam cara nak bagi tau, supaya antara kite tak de yg tertunggu reply. Walaupun kite ade jugak berbeza pandangan, banyak jugak sebab awak golongan tu, sy golongan ni, tapi kite tetap bersame jugak.

Lama jugak kite jadi kawan, sampai sy rase kite memang rapat. Sy nampak, banyak yg kite same. Ade jugak yg berbeza tapi itu sy tak kesah, sebab sy terime awak sebagai awak, kawan yg sy kenal awal-awal dulu. Sebab awak jadi diri awak, sy rase kalau berbeza pun tak kisah. Sebab awak adelah awak, awak bukan sy.

Sampai lah sy yakin, utk kongsi citer sy ngan awak. Bukan citer biase-biase, tp citer yg bagi sy, hanya patut ditulis lam diari je. Tapi sebab sy yakin ngan awak, awak boleh bantu sy bile sy cite kat awak. And, sejak tu, sy makin rase rapat ngan awak. Betul, sy tak tipu. Memang lah diorg ade cakap-cakap, diorang taleh tahan ngan sy yg cepat marah, sy seorang yg tak de perasaan, hati keras cam batu, pentingkan diri, dan mustahil bagi sy utk ade teman rapat walaupun diorang sendiri tak penah berkawan ngan sy. Tapi bg awak, tak. Sy manusia jugak. Awak, sy amat sgt menghargai awak.

Tapi kan, sejak akhir-akhir ni, awak dah tak de. Awak seakan-akan hilang dari hidup sy. Awak, nape awak pegi dr sy ye? Awak pegi jauh sgt. Dan awak pegi dgn sekelip mate je. Serious, sy mula-mula tak baper rase sgt kehilangan awak minggu-minggu awal tu. Sebab sy kenal awak. Awak cume perlukan ketenangan, dan awak tanak tengok muke sy waktu awak marah sy. Dan mungkin jugak sebab sy masih terase ngan awak. tapi sy tawu, awak akan belagak cam biase, tegur sy mcm selalu awak buat, cam tak ade ape-ape yg belaku lepas awak cool down.


Sy tunggu awk. Mungkin awak nanti tanye khabar or something. Tapi awak terus diam, diam dan diam. Sy makin sedih. Sebab awak terlalu marah kan sy. Awak datang mase tu dengan persoalan-persoalan yg menunjukkan awak protes ngan kenyataan sy. Awak langsung tak macam waktu dulu. Awak soal sy ngan nada yg ....  Sy sedih, awak. Sebab awak letak semua kesalahan atas sy. Sy ingat, bile sy ckp mcm tu, awk akan fikir balik segalanya, fikir kenapa boleh jadi cam tu. Tapi sy salah. Ye, sy salah. Sy sentiasa tersalah. Awak tak tahu langsung ape-ape. Malah masih anggap awak .... Maaf, sy tak sanggup nak cakap tu kat awak.

Tapi tak pe, Lepas tu awak diam lagi. Teruskan hidup awak dengan cemerlang dan gemilang. Sy dengar tentang awak dari kawan-kawan baru sy, yg dulu sy perkenalkan pada awak. Awak buat tu, awak buat ni, awak rancang itu dan ini. Sy tersenyum. Awak mantap, awak bersemangat utk hidup macam selalu. Sy lak terus-terusan buang mase teringat ape yg jadi. Betapa bodohnye sy. Sy malu dgn awak. Awak terlalu perfect. Dari saat pertama sy kenal awak, awak sentiasa sempurna bagi sy. Sy tak setanding awak. Tapi tak pe, sy bersyukur dapat kawan ngan awak. =)

Tapi tak pe, walaupun dulu awak kongsi sesuatu dgn sy tapi tak lagi mase sekarang, sy tetap tau awak bahagia. Tak perlu awak kongsi pun, sy tetap dapat tau jugak. Sy baca komen-komen kawan-kawan awak, sy tau awak bahagia ngan diorang. Terguris jugak hati sy bile awak rancang dan jumpa kawan-kawan awak selalu tapi sy, awak terus lupe. Sy tau, mungkin sebab sy tak selalu dapat pegi jumpa awak bile kite terpisah, jadi awak anggap tak perlu ajak sy sebab dah confirm sy tak akan dapat hadir macam selalu. Terguris tapi tak ade ape yg sy boleh buat. Sy cume diam, dan anggap awak mungkin betul-betul terlupa. Kite semua manusia, manusia yg mudah lupe, sebab tu Allah suruh kite saling ingat-mengingati, betul kan awak? Maaf lah, sy tak ade ilmu sebanyak awak. Kalau ade tersilap awak tolong betulkan ye? =)

Sy jumpe awak hari tu, nak cite kat awak satu cite tentang sy, yg awak penah tanye lepas awak lame berdiam diri tu. Sy semangat nak cite kat awak, awak tau. Walaupun sy tau, kemungkinan sejarah berulang lagi. Tapi tak pe, sebab sy dah bersedia untuk tu, supaya lepas ni sy dan awak tak perlu lagi macam kutub utara ngan selatan. Tapi bile jumpe awak, awak nampak macam kekok je ngan sy. Macam kite ni bukan kawan rapat yg dulu tu. Pernah kan sy cakap kat awak, awak sukar nak cover perasaan awak. Sy dapat rase tu, awak nampak ... macam ... ntah la awak... Mungkin sy salah lagi. Patah terus rase hati sy nak kongsi ngan awak citer mase tu.

Tapi tak pe, sebab sy dah lali dgn semua ni. Mungkin benar kate mereka, sy tak layak dapat teman rapat. Sy salah kalau terus-terusan fikir macam ni, sebab akan bawa penyakit hati pada sy. Sy dah buat banyak salah kat awak sebelum ni, sy tanak buat lagi. Tak pe, sy terima semuanya. Awak dah happy sekarang. Sy senang hati bile tawu tu. Tak pe, sy harap awak akan sentiasa gembira. Walaupun awak dah membuktikan teori sy selama ni betul, tapi awak tetap awak bagi sy. Sy tak kan buat awak susah lagi, sy tetap akan balas komen-komen awak ngan happy walaupun ada terluke kat hati sy. Tak pe, luke sy ni boleh sembuh sendiri, macam dulu. Bile-bile awak perlukan sy, sy sedia tolong awak, tau... Sebab awak tetap kawan sy, dan sy cube sedayanye untuk tolong kawan sy. =)

* * *

Dear, time kasih ye luangkan mase dengar citer ni. Ringan nye Cleo rase. =)

Building new me

Cleo

~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~

[ Why So Serious? ]

With Allah's love

Assalamu'alykum to my dear diary

Dear, did you remember those times? When I used to tell my stories to your cute lil blue sister? I missed her so much, you know. I missed the time that I wrote her stories. Stories of what happened to me all day, all exciting days, hurting days, boring days, joyful days. Surely is, she'll miss me too, I guess. =)

You know, on my birthday, lots of things had happened. And those things, keep coming to me each day and night till now. And I kept asking, is it some kind of a sign or something? Because, deep in my heart, I can feel like something I really am afraid of, trying to avoid all this time might happen to me soon. Sooner than I thought. Dear, it really scares me.

It's not the 1st time people said to me, "Not to be choosy.", "When it came, just accept it.", "Why should you push something good aside?"

Dear, it wasn't because of me, trying to choose the best person. It's because of here, this little deep friend inside here that can't accept it at this time. People kept saying things, even my own close friends. They kept saying why do I always get to know Mr. Perfect, Prince Charming, Mr Darcy, and what-so-ever-they-named-him but still, I just let them go or even worse, scares them away. They said, and keep those words keep coming even from people who's not very close and know me. Yet, I just give them the same blur or do-I-look-like-I-care-?-face. That's the only choice I have, though. What else can I say?

Before, I didn't really take note of all this crap they were talking but now, when it happens many times on the same night, it just kept in my head and won't go away. With the weird attitude of my long time enemy, plus the appearance of one person that I 'chased away' on my final exam last semester, this really getting weirder. "I'm honest to be friend with you" message won't be enough for me to accept a gent I didn't even know his name, only numbers. Tell me about it when I received lots of the same messages from people I know that turns out to be something not worth it, not to talk those I didn't even recognize them. Please, I lost lots of my time and money enjoying my life before with my friends, and I wish not to make the same mistakes over and over again. Once is enough for me because I don't believe in second chance. And I do wish that no one will ever involve me into their life ever when lastly, no one gets anything worth the price.

Dear, can I ask you a question here? Am I an alien or something? Because those people told me that I'm unpredictable and my mind set is different. And most likely, they left me after saying those words. Well, of course not all of them. Whatever. That's not the point.

The point is, dear, can you help me out here? Or say, do I need to go for a counseling session? Well, I bet the counselor will also not be able to identify my problem. Huhu.

All of this time, I've been trying to forget about these crap thing, you know, even though it kept happening to me no matter where I go. But then, somehow, it reminds me of someone. Someone I had forgotten for years. Someone that I used to share the stories with your little blue sister. Someone I met or shall I say, happened to be my inspiration when I was in Form 4 and 5.

Seriously, how can I forget about that person? The person who managed to make me feel always be a part of this world. Someone who's so far but yet, near to my heart. I used to call him, Mr. R. I bet your little sister was too bored to hear his name again. =)

Oh, and don't be so ridiculous. He's not my first love of course. He's just someone I was meant to meet, to give me hope when I'm losing it. I still remember that day, when he stares at me for my clumsiness. I accidentally dropped  my spoon and spill the fruit cocktail. And that day, when me and my dorm mate took out the wrong plate and get scolded by the hostel's canteen worker we called, Pak Cik Roy (may Allah bless his soul, amin). The time he used to come and take the seat in front of me at lunch and dinner time, and that day when he watched me playing volleyball from his dorm's corridor or from the football field, when he always take the chance to play the volleyball and wait for me to passed through the court, coming back to hostel from my home.

And, of course I still remember, the place he used to sit and watched me reading my book, behind that tall and big tree next to his block, waiting for his friend to come down and go to the class together. It's all happened too fast before I realized that somehow, I have a similarity with him. Both of us, got into the same class. He used to be in 4 AR and 5 IK, the same class I was destined to be in when I'm in Form 4 and 5. You can't guess which class you'll be in next year when it was the system doing all the work, can you?

To tell you the truth, at first, I didn't even know his name and what class he's in. He's not a handsome guy, didn't really care about his style but still keep himself smart looking. Height? He's not the one to be in the competition for a model to tell you the truth. He's just a few centimeters from me. How do I know? Because he had once, conduct my group for a jungle trekking.

One thing I remember about him, he's a nice person although his face shows like he's a snob. To everybody. Teachers love him, his friends respect him even though he's just a normal guy, like everybody else. Maybe it's because of his ancestors and his name, I guess.

I do know things about him, much more than he knew about me, I guess. Of course I didn't ask people around but people talk, and I listen (because my friends love gossiping while we're eating all 12 of us everyday). Girls, I miss those precious time. =)

I admit, reminding him makes me smiles. Usually, when I remember of someone, somehow I just wanna forget about him as fast as I could and keep cursing myself but today, that moment, I didn't do what I usually do. Instead, I just smile and puff! I forget about all those crap and feel so light. Hah. Hyperbola.

But, well, I guess there's nothing to say more, my dear. This guy is not the reason why I keep pushing anyone else aside. Like I said, he's just someone I was meant to meet. It is my heart, and myself that can't accept that kind of relationship. My so-called enemy use to say, it's because I'm one of the ABC (anti-boys Club), back there at school. but for me, I got into that group unintentionally. It was because majority of my girl friends were in it, so people thought I was one of them. But still, I have to admit. ABC didn't mean I reject the existence of guys in my life but it's for me to keep my distance from them. I still can accept them as my friends but to have faith, and have some kind of bond, I don't think so. There's a lot for me to think of rather than that kind of thing.

I do, have lots of friends. Guys and gals, gents and ladies. All of them are my friends, equals. We have fun time together, and sometime shares our sadness together too. But to have that kind of relationship? I have to say, I am sorry. It isn't the time yet for me. 

So, why so serious? (My cousin's favourite quote from the Joker, Batman). And if, you are real serious to know me, you do have to show up and let me know at least who you are, as all I know my friends. Plus, not to forget, I still have my parents who at least one of them, knows my friends.

Well, my dear diary. I guess this one is a really long story I told you. I hope you wouldn't mind at all to carry it now, would you? Ciao. =)

Relief
Cleo
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~