Wednesday, July 21, 2010

[ Celaru, Keliru dan Haru biru ]

With Allah's love
Assalamu'alykum to my dear...

Hmm.... After the last entry, I've got so lil time to sit back and think about all the thing happening around me. I'd just got up from sleep and can't go back to sleep, don't know why. My room mate is still in her deep sleep. Yukkuri yasumi neh, su-chan. =)

My life become a bit different, after I received an sms from my friend. An sms telling me about our former friend's condition. It's shocking enough to know that he's in the ICU. And the next thing I know the next morning is that, he's gone, forever. Even though we didn't communicate much with each other, but still... I feel like... I don't know how to describe it. it's lie feeling so empty, yet so burdened. I didn't even have the chance to attend his funeral. It's so sad, you know. Reading the comments, status, and entries tribute to him, Sharfuddin, from our friends, really making me crying. No one expect that he's the first one to go before us. Sharfuddin, may Allah bless you over there, may Allah take care of you over there.

Allah loves you more, and wanna take you near to him, to make sure there will be no more hurting for you. Have a nice rest, my dear ---<@

* * *

Well, lots of unpredictable things happening around and we can't simply handle it perfectly. We can just try and keep on trying to make it be the best in our life. With the M3P around, I'm so exhausted and a lil down when I can't contribute my best effort to each task I was assigned to. Nothing going on perfectly and people kept feeling hurt or even angry with my cooperation. Everything I do seems like nothing to them. I am so sorry that I can't help you guys to make things perfectly perfect. I was so stupid and I can't even think of anything better to contribute. I'm sorry.

Maybe this is how you feel when someone you know had just leave you behind and at the same time, you didn't have the time to take a break to think and accept things around. It's hard. It is really hard. Not long before this one, my grandparent had passed away too and I didn't have the chance to go to his funeral too. OMG. Now I know how my mother felt all this time...hmm....

* * *

To my lil bro (who called me his lil sis), I will always by your side, dear. Please be strong, please... Do stop joining them in sports at this rate, my dear. Enough with what they did to your leg, enough with what they did to your belongings. I don't want them to hurt you anymore, dear. We can't expect how far they would go to make sure you can't be who you are, because they just can't simply accept it. With today's atmosphere, you need to be more careful and alert. Bro, do leave them as far as you can. I know you pretty sure who am I talking about, don't you bro?

They're just some stupid school boys, oriented by stupid guys, doing stupid things and you just can't simply walk into their stupid game. You are a brilliant guy, you are a smart thinker. Naim, you are one of the best person I'd ever know. People are not perfect but you're someone who can differentiate good and bad, not like them.

Bro, I don't wanna see you getting hurt anymore. Coming back from school with "broken" leg. Not a single scratch on your body, your heart, and your future anymore. I know you love sports so much, I know, and I understand how it feels like when you can't go out and have some fun on the field. But please, my dear. That's the only place where they can hit you and make it looks like an accident. Wake up, bro! They can't except it, when you won over the champion. They can't bear it when you could go further in everything you participate, more than them. Bro, it's not the time to be mister nice guy right now. You need to be smart and save your future. It's not a coward, it's called a wise. Think about it, bro.

O Allah, please take good care of my bro for me, for my parents. There's nothing we can do without Your help...

Having a spinning life
~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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