Tuesday, November 30, 2010

[ Half-Life ]

With Allah's love
Assalamualykum to my dear

Dear, it's been three days I'm back to my campus, joining the training for the becoming game plus trying to complete my works before it's too late.

# Training
# Reports and what-ever it is
# Paperwork for my last program with that society
# Assignments

Well, actually I don't know what am I gonna share today but I just feeling like wanna type something here. It hurts, you know. Inside out, all over. I feel like I lost my two legs, like half paralyzed. I can't even walk like I used to, can't keep up my pace, can't even jog like a normal person. Cuz it hurts, and I can't make myself comfortable with it. Allah... All the things He give will be taken in a short time.

I think it was my fault too because yesterday, I took a wrong step when I walked down the hill. I was too exhausted that I stop jogging and just take a fast walk but I should have jog along with the gravity instead of keeping my pace. That's when I started to feel the pain. Hmm... What a stupid decision I made and it caused me a whole lot pain in my life at this moment.

I don't have enough stamina, so I really need to keep up working on my exercise. I still need to learn more on the steps for Silat Seni and I don't have much time to memorize them all plus to polish it and make it better. But now, I'm just like a trash. What am I gonna do? OMG....

Inside, I admit, I start to giving up on this. But still, half of me don't wanna waste the chance while I still have it, even a little tiny bit of it. But I'm afraid too that it will make this as some kind of a worse case scenario or what-so-ever.

Dear me... I don't know what's it like right now. I hate to admit but it's the truth. Those kind of questions and predicting starts to worry me too much. But, maybe it's me that take it too seriously when it is just nothing, I don't know. Right now dear, all I can say is, this thing makes me worry too much and also, hurts me too much for what I had been planning all this time seems like such a waste.

I feel so wrong to talk like that but half of me can't stop thinking like that. Gosh... I'm turning to be like that again. Please... Please don't.... I don't like it cuz it makes me become a very ungrateful creature.

~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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