Tuesday, April 5, 2011

[ ICU : My Lappy or Me . . ? ]

With Allah's love
Assalamu'alykum to my dear

Dear, I guess today is not going to be easy for me. Naze? Because today's the day I make the conclusion. For what? For every single thing that happened when my lappy went to ICU, when every single task can't be done by me. Every single thing, no, I mean every single person I know showed me the real them. It's not so hard but it is heart breaking.

It's hard for me, someone who don't like to ask help from others, but it was hard enough when some of them just can't try to understand the situation. All they know were to put the blame on me. *Sigh*

Well I guess now I know who's who in the inside.

In Tangled, Rapunzel's mother said this phrase to her:

"Mother, knows best."

Well, in my case I would say:

"Father, knows best."

Cause it happened just like what my father told me once:

People will never look into you if you have no values. You'll develop your own values, whether you realize it or not and so do people around you. They come to you when you have benefits to them, and they go away from you when you are nothing to them.

That's what my father told me. But for me, there's one more single phrase to add:
To be worse, they go away and leave the blame on you.

Well dear, that's the first thing. Second is, I just don't get it. I don't think that my words are too hard for them to understand, do I? Sometimes, it just don't make any sense, you know. They just don't get it when I said I can't help them not because I don't want to, but it's because I can't. And those people, they just can't stop urging and staying around. Haaiizz.

When I told them the truth, tried to talk to them as polite as I can, they didn't try to get it. But when I started to be little bit firm, they said I was being emo. What a stupid statement came out of nowhere. I just don't get it. I've tried several times to make them understand the situation but they just LOVE to make things harder and when they got scolded, they blame it on me. Gosh!

They should be grateful for I just send them a message rather then call them on the spot and spat everything. They just LOVE to make things harder, don't they? Hmm.

Third thing is, things change now. When people got something, they just... change. I don't know how to say this but that's what I fell like. I just felt left out. Not like before. I guess, it's my fault from the beginning. I tend to forget who I am actually. I'm just a secretary, nothing more or less. I just need to do my part and do nothing more than that. Personal life, is to be abandon right now. Well, if that's it, I guess I'll just have to be like that. I need to remind myself all the time from now on. It hurts but I guess it's better for not being hurt more than this.

Well dear, it's getting late now and I can't wake up in the morning with panda eyes because I have a trip to Astro tomorrow morning. And I can't drive early in the morning with half-opened eyes, can I? Plus, my bro is here and I don't want him to see me like this in the morning.

Well, see you soon. Ciao!

*Psstt, I guess it's my turn to get out from the ICU.

~ Creating Ideas, Developing Words ~
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